i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize