fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
