I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
should my penis look like a turkey
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
