You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
