Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
