Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
