we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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