If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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