You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
