I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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