Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
