Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize