oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize