dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
