I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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