her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
