Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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