he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
