I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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