You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
