don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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