You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
