Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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