I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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