Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize