They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
