somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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