were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
