please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
