Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize