you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
