i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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