my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
even my farts smell like vagina
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
