I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
