sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
