It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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