my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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