Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
