i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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