Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
