dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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