I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize