How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
