Who did Billy Mays play for?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
