I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
