He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
