I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
