so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize