All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
