fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
