So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
