Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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