i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
