It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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