dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
