i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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