I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
