I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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