I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
