i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You are a genius and a whore.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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